I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
