everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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