shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
