I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
