thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
