dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
