I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
