Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize