We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
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well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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