She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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