My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
