There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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