I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize