The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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