Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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