stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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