Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
