giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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