Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
