And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
