Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
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Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
as a side note pls kill me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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