she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i drank out of a bidet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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