Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize