after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
