I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
