so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
