The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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