Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize