And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
