what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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