Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
