I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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