it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
