that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
