Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dick very happy bro
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
