You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Damn victory sex feels great
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
