I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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