Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
