'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize