yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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