Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize