at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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