I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
