I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
