I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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