I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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