11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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