We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
