Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
