If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
