id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The beer is more important than you right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Randomize
