i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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