Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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