I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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